Tuesday, August 2, 2011

a lost art

As I watched the finale of the bachelorette the other night, I couldn’t help but wonder… where has all the romance in the world gone? Now, I should clarify one thing; I am NOT an avid bachelorette fan. Actually I had only seen one episode prior to the finale, so I am not credible enough to say which lucky guy should have won BUT – there was one thing that the winner (JP) did, that got me thinking. On their last date before the final rose ceremony/proposal, JP got Ashley a gift… well, he made her a gift. He created a little book with a letter to her stating this would be the first chapter of the rest of their lives and he hoped there would be more to come so they could fill the book with more chapters together. NOW – being the romantic that I am, I gushed over this. It’s one thing to tell a girl you love her, and another to take action to make her feel that love. Of course one little book wouldn’t win my heart over, but like I said – I hadn’t been watching the show to see what/if any other romantic displays of affection he had pursued. I have to imagine that when they get into the real world all the butterflies, picnics, and “handwritten chapters” of their relationship will diminish to a flickering flame if they’re lucky (come on, it’s a reality show.) But why? Why is it that people are less likely to go out of their way to do special things for each other in this day and age? Is it parenting? Should we blame it on the social media; music, tv, movies?
Where is the romance in today’s world?
Is romance in a relationship a long lost art?
We see it in the movies and on TV shows…. But rarely do you hear one of your friends in a new relationship gushing over an elaborate romantic gesture. It’s almost like the fireworks are duds from the get go.

Have we cut all the ‘romantic gestures’ down to nothing more than corny, awkward moments? Think of rose petals on the bed… welp - someone’s gotta clean that mess up! How about a song or a poem written just for you? Meh. That could turn out VERY badly (I suggest NOT trying this one unless you are John Mayer or of the like…) A bath for two? Unless you have a Jacuzzi in your bathroom, that usually isn’t the most romantic of feats. Feeding each other? Talk about annoying. . . . So what works?
I think sometimes, the simplest of ‘romantic gestures’ can be the most touching. A handwritten letter, cooking their favorite dinner and setting the table with candles, or showing up with a MEANINGFUL gift maybe they had mentioned in passing to show you’re listening. It’s those thoughtful-from-the-heart-acts of love that surprise your lover, and that will hold their heart and keep the relationship alive.
OR - maybe we’ve learned that it isn’t the romantic gestures in a relationship that keep it pressing forward. Maybe it’s the little things like holding hands during an evening walk, falling asleep together after a long day, a sincere compliment, or a lazy sunday afternoon together that helps to hold the spark.

Either way… if you happen to find a mate that takes time to make you feel special and goes out of his or her way to really sweep you off your feet? Hold on tight, because they just don’t make them like that anymore!

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