Undiscovered Talent

I have been really bummed out lately because I haven’t had enough time to use my new camera and take the pictures I am so dying to capture. I have just been entirely too busy.

I consider myself a relatively creative person. There isn’t a whole lot I think I am bad at (with the exception of math, and sports J). That being said, there is soooo much I would love to try and explore, but I just don’t have the time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I am great at anything… but is that just me hiding behind the fear of failure?

This got me thinking…

How do you discover your talents? Personally I feel I have “untapped talents”, so to speak. I am sure others do too, for lack of time or resources. Without these, some people will never realize their true potential. Some people find their niche early in life and run with it, some find it later and proceed with extraordinary ability. Others just drift along in the world, with random hobbies they never really excel at. Is this because we are incapable? Is it that we don’t want to fail? Or is it due to a lack of applying ourselves?

I know in my life there have been many things I have quit. I look back and think “what if”… I quit choir to pursue band. Then later I quit band because I didn’t want to dedicate the time to practicing, and I was GOOD. Not to sound cocky, but music is just something that comes natural to me. I always think about where I would be if I hadn’t quit. How many more instruments I would be able to play, or what groups I could possibly be a part of. When I was younger I quit ballet. In high school, I took a sculpting class that I absolutely LOVED. I have been saying since then that I would love to get into sculpting and take another class, even if only as a creative outlet. I also have wanted to learn how to sew and knit.

Well, that obviously hasn’t happened.

The truth is that it is too easy to doubt and knock ourselves down.

I know everything takes some sort of dedication and effort, but these talents we all possess are just harboring inside of us. Being good at something and feeling confident about an ability you hold helps your self esteem. It is so easy to put things off, because the motivation has to be there. I could say “once my life settles down, I will engage in these things I want to try” or “I will get to it” but here’s the real question: is there ever a good time?

I guess I need to quote the old saying… “Just do it”

There’s never been a better time.



Sorta like a Rockstar

Sorta Like a Rockstar by Matthew Quick





For me, this was a very fun book. Amber Appleton, is not your average teenager. She lives with her mom out of a yellow school bus (recently being homeless) and she hangs with the “outcasts” in school. She keeps her days busy with her random charity work, odd friends and her dog Bobby Big Boy (or BBB). Despite the curveballs Amber’s life has thrown her, she remains hopeful.

It took me a few chapters to get into this book but once I did, I hung on every word. I liked the layers. Amber is full of layers. She is one of those people who would give you the shirt off her back without thinking twice about how she would get another one. A giver. I also enjoyed her relationship with Jesus Christ or JC, as she calls him. She mentions in the book, how many people portray God to be the big bad wolf, shaking his finger at you for all your sins, ready to send you to hell. Her view of God is that he is a Rockstar, performing miracles by walking on water, healing the sick, and parting the seas. I like that. My God is a Rockstar, but so many of us forget that.

This book delivers the spunky story of a girl who is living her life, with JC on her side. With a little bit of faith, hope, and an open heart Amber learns how great God is and how far a little bit of love can go.

I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone looking for an upbeat, heartwarming story of getting let down and being picked back up. The younger crowd would enjoy this book because of the expressions and terminology used, but anyone would enjoy the story. . .

Surprisingly, I cried at the end of this book.

Suckage

Just a few things that really, really suck

 In no specific order J

1)      Power outages

2)      Traffic jams

3)      Long lines

4)      Headaches

5)      Being sick

6)      Insomnia

7)      Doctor Appointments

8)      WAITING – for anything really.

9)      Family gatherings (For those of you reading, I love you . . . but you know they suck.)

10)   Break-ups

11)   Funerals

12)   Getting Fired

13)   Interviews

14)   Studying

15)   Being reaaallllly hungry or thirsty

16)   School

17)   Da po-lice

18)   Finals/Exams

19)   Winter

20)   Liars

21)   Bad Hair cuts/dye jobs

22)   Cheaters

23)   Missing a good sale

24)   Not fitting into your skinny jeans

25)   Break-outs

26)   First Dates

27)   First Kisses

28)   Death

29)   Old Age

30)   Annoying Kids

31)   Losing your favorite things

32)   Getting drunk and acting dumb.

33)   Small paychecks

34)   Nightmares

35)   Bad music

ROOM

ROOM

By Emma Donohugh

One of the librarians recommended this book to me; she has referred several books to me that I have thoroughly enjoyed.



This book has got to be the most unusual book I have read to date. It is told through the eyes of a 5 year old boy, Jack. He lives in Room, a single room, with his mother. Room is all Jack has ever known. He sleeps, eats, and plays in Room.

The story is about Jack realizing that his mother is being held in Room against her will.

At first I found it hard to read. The language used is very childlike and when you begin reading it, you don’t quite grasp everything that is getting thrown at you. But don’t worry, keep reading. By the end of the book, you will completely understand the diction, and be annoyed with those who don’t!

Overall, I believe this is a somewhat dark and disturbing tale, but sporadically there are beautiful rays of love and hope. When I finished the book, of course I wanted more; I wanted to know the end of Jacks story. But I was not disappointed with the ending. Every story must have one, and looking back I think this one came at the right time (even if I wanted more).

I would recommend this to anyone who doesn’t mind a different type of story. Everything is not unicorns and rainbows in this book, but the gloomy elements set the stage for the brilliant foundations to shine through.

I felt this book encouraged carrying hope and a smile, even in the darkest of times. This book to me was about making the best of your situation no matter what it is, because God will always see you through.

Brrr. . .

With the weather warming up these last few days, I can’t help but notice that most people (myself included) seem to be in a better mood. Why is it that when the weather is crappy, we feel crappy, and vice versa?

I don’t know about all of you, but this winter has truly sucked for me. It's too long. I don’t know what it is about this year and the weather but I definitely noticed it bringing me down. I have no desire to do anything.

For example, I got an awesome new camera for Christmas this year. I love it. Every day (well, when I have free time) I think to myself “It would be awesome to go out and take some pictures today”, and then I think. . . “It’s freezing outside” and that idea quickly gets expunged.

I walk to work, well most days I walk to work J I have umpteen million cute shoes and outfits to wear, but do you think I wear them in the winter? Heck No! First of all, I refuse to wear heels in the snow (that should be obvious right?), secondly I refuse to carry my heels to “swap out” when I get to work because I don’t need anything extra to carry and if I did, my boots would be sitting in a puddle of wetness under my desk all gross. NO THANKS.  Also, at work I am close to a window. . . I get cold VERY easily; I am definitely one of those people who are always a few degrees colder than everyone else. Because of that, I HAVE to wear at least 2 layers or I am useless. I go into big baby mode and can’t function properly.  Problem there is, not a whooooole lot of cute outfits you can create when you have to bundle up like an Eskimo. I manage to pull some out of the hat, but let’s just say winter is my least favorite fashion season of the year J

Then there is the snow and ice caked on your car in the morning when you have to go to class. I refuse. I’ll sit in my car and wait for that bad boy to warm up and clean itself off. Call it lazy, call it a waste, I call it not freezing my butt off.

I hate winter.

People tell me I will miss it, if I move and it’s not there every year.

I don’t think so.

But I would miss this.

I can practically hear the leaves crunching underneath my feet, and feel the crisp, brisk autumn air.

And I would miss this. The new growth that gives us all hope that beautiful weather is soon to come, and the long rains that bring rainbows and clean, wet air.

I love the in-betweens.

They make me happy.

Being cold makes me unhappy.

I wonder sometimes if we like and dislike seasons based on past experiences, hobbies, or something else that’s rooted inside us.

What’s your favorite season? Why?

Lush Review

So last time I did a lush review, I believe I mentioned I was going to attempt to clean out my closet. LOL. Yeah, that obviously didn’t happen. I have a good reason though J Honestly, I havent had a weekend off to even do it. And it doesn’t look like I will for another few months. So my closet waits.

Onto the goooooooods J

I have really became sort of, kind of, sadly, a little bit addicted to Lush.

One of my many guilty pleasures, so to speak.

Anyways, I have found things I don’t like and things I do.

Now I share that with you!

RockStar Soap – I’m sorry to those of you who are fans. I don’t get it. The scent reminds me of a little girl playing dress up. Cheesy. Like fake Bubblegum. I gave it a shot, even though I didn’t care for the smell just in case the soap “rocked my world”. Unfourtunately it didn’t. I didn’t find it moisturizing, and I didn’t find that the scent lingered on my skin either. In so many words, Rockstar was a bust.

Snowfairy Shower Gel – This smelled almost identical to Rockstar. That same cheesy little girl wearing fake make-up smell. The more I used it, I seemed to like it a little bit more, but not enough to really like, and definitely not enough to buy again. This had glitter in it too. All my glitter was stuck to the bottom so I didn’t get to experience any of it getting on my skin (Thank God, because then I really would have hated it.).

CandyCane bubble bar – smells just like the previous two mentioned. This though, I didn’t mind. The bubbles were nice and the smell wasn’t overpowering, it was almost just enough. This did linger on my skin and smelled the whole bathroom up for almost 2 days!  I wouldn’t buy this again though, only because it isn’t my favorite scent Lush offers.

Boog – I thought this bath bomb smelled really good. It was a strong scent in the tub, but not headache strong. The water was very silky and made my skin feel uber soft. No real noticeable change in color for the bath water (the bomb is white so…) and the “fireworks” broke away from the bomb and disintegrated separate. It was a slow fizzing bomb, and the smell lingered on my skin and in the bathroom for hours afterwards. A good purchase if you like plain bath bombs with a nice relaxing scent.

Note: mine broke! hence the cracks along his hat :(

Porridge – This scent I seriously could eat. I LOVE the way this smells. As far as the actual soap goes though? Eh. I could take it or leave it. I didn’t mind the oats or whatever it is in the soap, they didn’t bother me and I didn’t think they were too abrasive at all (I don’t have sensititve skin). It went very fast though because of the consistency. I would buy this again, but only because I adore the scent. It didn’t linger on my skin the way I hoped, of course.

Buffy – This little wonder, my mother swears by. Her legs are always very dry and she isn’t very good about applying her lotion (tisk tisk!). She SWEARS by Buffy though, so naturally I had to buy one too! Honestly I have only used it once (I think I would prefer a body butter used outside of the shower), but it DID work. I thought it would all wash off, but when I got out my legs (only place I used it. Buffy is like 22 bucks for the smaller one! Lol) were SUPER moisturized. I definitely didn’t need to apply lotion. So for those of you looking to moisturize in the shower, Buffy is your gal. There is no “definite” scent to buffy. It is a very slight scent I don’t think anyone would “love” or “hate”.  It is just kind of there.

Cinders – This spicy little bath bomb smells so. freaking. good. I love the way this smells. I can’t even describe it, but it’s seriously worth buying. It turns the bath water orange-ish and I have heard people say it turns their water yellow, so they don’t like it cuz it reminds them of pee.

WHAT?
Seriously?
 
I swear, when I hear people wouldn’t buy a bath bomb again because it turns the water yellow, I want to gag. YOU KNOW IT’S NOT URINE. YOU PUT THE BATH BOMB IN THE WATER. Does it smell like piss? *rolls eyes* I don't care what color the water turns if it smells like this!  Anyways, there is “pop rocks” candy throughout this bath bomb and I guess people had high hopes of the “crackling” sounds it was supposed to make. I didn’t necessarily hear any crackling, but I could care less because it smells so good. The water gets silky, and the scent lingered on my skin afterwards J which made me happy enough to buy lots n’ lots!

Note: The cinders bomb is the orange one with red "pop rocks" candies on top. The brown and white bomb with the green holly on top is called Lil' Lush Pud (haven't tried it yet, I will probably review it next time!)

Karma Shampoo Bar – My mom got a shampoo bar in one of her gift boxes and LOVED it.  I have really long hair, so I was doubtful. She loved it though, so I wanted to try one. I did some research and ordered myself a Karma Shampoo Bar (I love the Karma scent, and it is supposed to be for de-tangling so I figured it was a perfect marriage). I figured I would use the whole bar versus breaking off a chunk because I didn’t know how much I would need for my massive amount of hair. I rubbed it all over my hair until I seen it was lathering. WOW. I used waaaayyyy too much my first time. I was so impressed! It smelled amazing, just like the Karma soap, and lathered better than some shampoos I have used! I was only bummed out because when I used my conditioner, I lost the Karma scent. That made me sad. I will definitely be looking for a conditioner from Lush now, at least to try. I waited for the shampoo bar to dry, then stored it in my cute Lush tin J I didn’t even need to use my de-tangler when I got out, my brush slid right through! Definitely recommend. I will be trying more shampoo bars too!

Coming up, I have all kinds of goodies from Lush. Massage bars, shampoos, skin stuff, and moooore!! EEK!

 I can’t wait.

 Be on the lookout!

Loving the Good

I always love new quotes and inspiring messages or lyrics.

What’s your favorite?

I watched twilight the other night for about the umpteenth time. I hadn’t watched it in a few months though, so I was re-living the joy all over again J

Anyways, of course I watched New Moon after. You know how you pick up on things you didn’t hear, or remember from the first, second, or even third time you watched a movie? Well, Charlie said something that really resonated with me.

(OMG – she is getting inspired from vampire flicks. Watch out.)

For those of you who don’t knooooow… Edward leaves and Bella starts spending time with Jacob. She has horrible dreams that wake her up screaming and one night Charlie (her dad) runs to her room asking if she is alright. Blah, Blah they briefly talk about Jacob and her dad says:

 “Sometimes you gotta learn to love what's good for you”.

GAWW I love that!

So often people love what isn’t good for them.

Obviously you can take this literally with the “love interest” meaning, love people who treat you right, who make you feel good, and who care about you. But, I also think there is a wider scope to this statement.

Like, bad habits for example.  . . . Find something that is GOOD for you, and learn to freakin LOVE IT! Like, instead of loving beer or shots of tequila, try loving apple juice or lemon water J

Instead of needing a cigarette after dinner, begin to love taking the dogs on a walk.

Instead of loving to SPEND money, love to SAVE it!

I am going to start re-training myself.

The mind is a powerful tool, ya’ll.

Use it.

Another Lonely Day

 “They say time will make all this go away,

But its time that has taken my tomorrows, and turned them into yesterday”

Ben Harper – Walk Away

I remember when my sister passed away for so long people said “Time will help” “Give it time, and you will feel better”. Time. Time. Time. Really?

It’s been almost 2 years since she “passed away” (there’s another thing. Why does everyone hate the word died or dead? To me, it is just the truth. Death sucks, no matter how you say it so why not call it what it is? An ugly, unfair test of life we all have to pass.). Two years and I don’t feel any better about it.

I think what people mean to say is “Time will make you numb”. To me, that is all it has done. I still miss her and think about her every day. Each time I think about her I could cry, and retreat to my peaceful solitude. It doesn’t make me feel any better about it. I just have become numb to the thought of her not being around.

Numb - deprived of feeling through cold, shock, etc.

Numb. Not better.

Yeah, okay I know there is a lot that can be said “Well Taylor, she is in a better place”, “Death doesn’t have to be ugly and unfair”, “Of course you will miss her, but time does make it easier”.

Now, don't take this rant the wrong way. I know she is in a better place, I never said I wanted her to come back and live in pain. I know death isn’t ugly or unfair for the person dying . . . the problem isn’t with the person who dies. It’s with the living. It is unfair and ugly for us. It always will be. Someone who was a part of your life is ripped away never again to be seen. 

Comeback: “They are still with you, just in a different way. She will always be with you.”

My response: “Bullshit.”

The truth is people come up with these “idealistic” responses because it makes them feel better to know they said something that just might make you feel better. When you lose an immediate family member, you hear all the lines in the book. F.Y.I. – none of them made me feel any better. I just learned to fake it until I wasn’t getting fed rehearsed lines anymore.

It may seem like I am feeling sorry for myself or throwing a “pity party” and you know what?

I am.

I get  sick and tired of being strong and putting on this show for people. I can feel like shit for however long I would like, be it 2 years or 20 years, because I lost my only sister and my best friend. I don’t need attention or “Sorry” and “It will be ok’s” from people, because it’s just more regurgitated lines. I think people emphasize moving on from the loss of a loved one too quickly.

So . . . for all of you who have lost someone, you don’t always need to be strong and act like life is back to normal. It will never be normal again. Ever.

Call me crazy, but to me that is NOT ok! I am not ok without her. I am a completely different person without her in my life and I can’t ever go back.

Yes, life moves on. We progress. If we didn’t? We would end up living on the street. Can’t have that. So we soldier on, fulfilling our day to day responsibilities to live the life we consider so precious.

Dramatic. Yup, I am. I will own that and by golly, I will own the fact that I am sad. Sad about losing the best person I had in my life.

So here’s to being sad, missing someone, and another lonely day.

True Life: I'm a Vampire

I was thinking about what I could blog about next…

That’s when I realized I definitely needed to share my favorite topic for…

Reading!

Yeah yeah, I’m a dork.

I didn’t read a whole lot in high school, I wasn’t opposed to it I just had better things to do… J

I did read a few of the books my teachers had the class read ie. The Little Prince, Tuesdays with Morrie, Night, Romeo & Juliet, Of Mice and Men and I am sure there were a few more thrown in there I can’t remember.

Even the first few years out of high school I wasn’t an avid reader. I just wasn’t into it.

Okay, back to my topic…

After my sister passed away I bought this “teen” book about vampires called House Of Night (HoN) by P.C. and Kristen Cast. I got hooked. I read every single book in the series and couldn’t wait for more. A friend of mine (already an avid reader) who had already read HoN , suggested I read Twilight.

Errrmm… I seen the first 5 minutes of the Twilight movie and had to shut it off I was so bored. I was not about to read the damn book.

BUT… because I love my friend, and trusted her opinion I figured I would give it a shot. I know, I’m a sucker (no pun intended).

I fell in love with Twilight, too.

So that started my vampire book reading frenzy.

Yes, I have definitely read books that aren’t vampire related, but I just wanted to share some of my favorites.

1.       Twilight – I have to rank this as number one because of the magnificent love story. I love Bella and Edward, and I think it helped that they are both gorgeous in the movie too.

2.    Vampire Academy – If Twilight didn’t exist, this would ABSOLUTELY be my number one favorite series. It may even be tied. I couldn’t get enough, and I am so sad that I devoured the last book in a few days. I have heard, that a spin-off will be coming out. Whew!

3.      House of Night - The only thing I can say about this series is I hope they never end. There have been 8 books so far…

4.     Blue Bloods –This is a different type of vampire story. A good one too. I have yet to read the latest book that is out because I seriously have a line up going. I will get to it though, I promise J

5.      Night World – I actually didn’t think I was going to like this series. My mother bought the books for me, and I put off reading them for a long time. Once I got into them though, I was pleasantly surprised. It’s a bunch of short books in one book where the characters all end up being involved with each other somehow. Cool twist. Definitely worth reading.

Not in my top, but good none-the-less:

Fallen (okay, not really a vampire book, but it’s underworld stuff so I figured it fit. Plus, it’s a good series J)

Vampire Diaries

Vampire Kisses

Evernight

Link to more vampire books:

The Vampire Library

Call it overkill, but I like to read what people have to say about the books I have already read, and reviews on books I am considering picking up.

Here is a link to a Vampire Book Blog:

Vampire Books Blog

Side Note:

So you know I had to watch the “Vampires Suck” movie. Basically a spoof of Twilight. . . I definitely wasn’t offended by this movie (some parts I did actually get a small chuckle out of) but it was pretty much a waste of 1hr and 22 minutes of my life. Ok, well not that long because I fell asleep during the end. It was just one of those DUMB movies where it makes you wonder what the people who created it were on when they thought of some of the scenes. I don’t understand how people can think of such stupid shit! Oh well, I am sure the Twi-haters out there loved it. I was glad I checked it out for free from my library, otherwise I would have been mad to spend even a dime on it.

Another random thought: I hated how the Vampire Diaries came out with the TV show and the characters were completely different than depicted in the books. Totally Lame.

Stop the Sickness

So, I am at work and had a minute so I thought I would take this time to complain J

BACK STORY:

Saturday I woke up with a really, really dry throat. You know the kind where you wonder what good your spit is, because it’s definitely NOT keeping it lubricated back there? Anyways, super dry. Super scratchy. Mostly, annoying.

So that brings me to right now. This very second as I type…

It’s freezing. And I walk to work.

I debated on whether it would be bad or good for my cold to walk. I decided to walk because exercise is good, right?

Well, I wish I would have drove today because I’m so cold I don’t even want to think about stepping foot outside. Although, I guess I would have to in order to get to my car which would be ice cold anyways so . . .  it’s a no-win.

I feel like it’s making me sick, as I type this. The cold, that is. More sick, anyways.

My body aches and I want my humidifier, heating pad, bed, and book J



Here’s my thought…. How do you get when you are sick? Do you buck up and deal? Or complain every step of the way?

I have always been the same. I cry and mope and whine and complain like it is going to make me better faster. Like somehow if I complain and whine to the people around me, the medicine will work better, or they will come up with a great remedy to CURE all my symptoms. Hmmph.

Come to think of it, I am quite pathetic when I am sick.

I blew it off as a bad day, maybe I slept with my mouth open (zombie style. Pretty, I know). ANYWAYS, Sunday when I woke up and felt my throat getting worse, and my body aching like it got hit by a Mack truck I immediately sped to Walgreens and bought cough drops, a huge tub of Vitamin C, a box of cold/flu medicine, some perfume, and a brow fix kit (perfume? Brow fix kit? Hey, you’re lucky I remembered the vitamin C . . . I have issues remember?). Once I got home, I popped some Vitamin C and Cold/Flu meds, then tried to “sleep it off” . . . I’m stopping this cold dead in its tracks, right?

 Today is Monday. Mondays suck anyways, but on top of it I had an exam this morning. After my exam I went BACK to Walgreens, because I have started a slight coughing bit that isn’t making me feel like I am conquering this thing. I bought a humidifier. Let me just say, I can’t believe it took me this long to get one. My good one is packed away at my parents house awaiting the day it can be reunited with me J I love my humidifiers, and I missed having one. Also, I asked the pharmacist what she would recommend, and I had to laugh. Basically, she told me to drink lots of water and run the humidifier I was buying.

UMMM – I wanted a MEDICINE that would make my throat feel better! Instead I got nothing. OH! Aaaand she told me NOT to take the cold/flu medicine I bought because it would dry me out even worse. Welllllllllll, Thank you. That explains why I have been getting worse. I have been taking it for 2 freagging days! Thank God I am not that diligent about taking medicine otherwise I would have been taking 2 capsules every 4 hours!

D.E.A.R.

D.E.A.R.

You remember those days. You would bring books, snacks, and a blanket or pillow to school and the only thing everyone would do for the ENTIRE day was read.

Drop. Everything. And. Read.

Sounds like my free time. Lol.

There is something about wrapping up with a good book that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Of course, I usually picture myself on a huge couch with a knitted, soft blanket next to a warm, crackling fire looking like a scene straight out of a movie. When in reality, I don’t have a fireplace or a huge plushy couch and I am usually fighting off my bird with every page turn so my book doesn’t end up in paper shreds.

A girl can dream though, can’t she?

Even if I am not in my movie scene, I still love getting whisked away to another world. For all you non-readers out there I hate to say it but, you just don’t get it.

My best friend despises reading. She has never read an entire book in her life.

To me, that’s craziness!

When you find a book you really enjoy, it’s better than watching a movie. It’s better because you create the world, so to speak. The characters look and sound just the way you picture them. The scenery is up to you. With a good book, it is like you are someone else completely, living a different life.

I think there is something magical about that.

When I grow up J I want to have a library full of books I have read.

Ok, pull back the reigns, Taylor … maybe not a library but definitely a wall… or at least an entire shelving unit.

I think for some people they read one book, or start a book and it’s not their cup of tea so they get turned off to reading and never go back.

It’s about finding your style, and what interests you. If you are lucky enough to find an author you love, all the better.

Once you find books you can get into, the fun begins and you realize why people read. Everyone is different and it might take a few misses before you stumble upon that “special book”. Don’t get discouraged, keep reading! Sometimes I go for months without picking up a book, and when I get back on the ball I am always SO glad I did J

Oh, how I love to read.