The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

by Aimee Bender

Ok people, I never said all these book reviews would be good ones… it just so happens that all of the books I have been reading, I have enjoyed… until now. This isn’t my favorite book, by far.

It wasn’t bad though.

Sorta one of those…  ‘It’s something to do and beats doing nothing’ kind of books.

Cool title tho, right? Makes you wonder what the hell this book is about.

It is about this girl (it starts when she is 9 and follows her into adulthood) who can taste peoples feelings through food. Whatever she eats, she can taste the cooks mood and feelings. She can taste where the ingredients came from too for example, she can taste the difference between Florida oranges and Californian oranges…

So you can imagine what issues this girl has. Lol. Actually to be honest, she isn’t too bad off. If you don’t count the offbeat, cheating mother, the disappearing, weird brother and the standoff-ish, workaholic dad. It’s kind of a weird book. Not great. Not terrible.

Just kind of… ehhh…

A recommendation for a rainy day, when you are all out of options and have nothing to read.

So like I said, I obviously don’t love every book I come across but this was the first one in a while I wasn’t too thrilled about.

I plan on reviewing all the books I read. Love em’, like em’, or hate em’ J

Wintergirls

Wintergirls

by Laurie Halse Anderson

This book had a somewhat morbid feel to it.

It is the story of Lia, a quiet girl with an eating disorder. Her best friend Cassie, dies as the story begins.

Best friends since they were little, Cassie and Lia have a relationship that seems to be destructive to the other’s lives, both encouraging each others sickness. I don’t know for sure because the book doesn’t focus on the ins and outs of their friendship, but it is clear that they were the only ones that understood each other. With parents that don’t understand, no one to turn to, and messed up relationships with everyone, Lia took a big hit losing her best friend . . . even if they hadn’t talked for months.

After in-patient care “fattening them up” as Lia puts it, Cassie’s parents made her stay away from Lia, and Cassie obeyed. Both of the girls have an eating disorder, but different. Cassie is bulimic, and Lia is great at starving herself. I mean great. The true definition of an anorexic. She looks at food in calories, and feels she doesn’t deserve it. Cassies death ‘triggers’ Lias problem, although I am not sure whether she ever fixed it to begin with. She punishes herself by eating hot sauce with food, and working out at night while everyone is sleeping. Her parents weigh her to make sure she is eating, so she sews quarters into the pockets of her robe to trick the scales.

You have got to read this book.

The dialogue is a little weird, you get used to it - no biggie. At first, I was thinking (as any girl who enjoys being skinny) WOW! I wish I had the strength of this girl… I wish I could be anorexic! Lol. But as the story progresses, it becomes sickening. It becomes sad, disturbing, dark, and gruesome. You start to see the true sickness as it is… ugly.

The biological affects anorexia has, as well as the mental illness that it creates all make for a haunting book that is really hard to put down.

So much more to this story than I can say.

Wondering how Cassie died? Did I mention Lia is also a cutter? What happens if once, you cut too deep? Wondering how Lia ends up at 89lbs?

Sort of empowering, sort of sad, sort of gross = Wintergirls

You gotta read it.

Heaven is for real

I know this is long overdue; the past week has been craaaazy busy. I won’t get into the small details of what kept me from blogging (exam, girls weekend, work) but here is the book review I said was coming soon … 2 weeks ago. Lol.

So many favorite quotes from this book but I chose this one: “Intellectual honesty: to be willing to accept reality and to call things what they are even when it is hard.”

Heaven is for real

by Todd Burpo

So, I have read The Shack by William P. Young which was a great book about heaven and god and having faith in the big guy. I recently read Heaven is for real, which is the same idea… heaven, god, faith.

This book though, is a true story and very, very, touching.

It’s one of them “feel good” books. You can’t read this book without finishing it feeling a new sense of faith and a newfound relationship with God.

It follows a little boy who gets very sick, he walks away from his experience at the hospital with a piece of heaven!

His father is a pastor, which sounds like it is going to be a preachy, blah, blah, “you’re just making this story up because you are a bible bumper” kind of book.

Trust me, it isn’t.

I only started the book because I needed a quick read while I was home one weekend and honestly I didn’t have intentions on reading it before I picked it up. Once I got going though, I swam through half of the book in a matter of a few hours.

It was delicious.

The author (the pastor, the little boys dad) is actually quite funny, and very real. He allows you to remember all “men of god” aren’t tightwads who don’t know how to laugh and make mistakes. He lets you into his world, and shows you that no one is perfect. We all get mad at God, and take frustrations out on him.

The other thing he shows us is that God is Love.

Such a simple, cheesy, elementary saying. Yet so true.

I took away from this book the feeling that it is okay to feel. It’s okay not to understand. As long as you realize you can apologize, and understand it isn’t God who is creating a mess in our lives. God loves us and he would never turn on us. He is always there with open arms, loving us and protecting us.

Another large theme in the book is childlike faith. So often our prayers turn into “adult” prayers…. You all know what I am talking about… we talk to God like we try to impress him. Lol. Like if our prayers “sound” right, they will be more effective or something.

Bottom line: Get back to the basics. God is real and loves you for who you are. Don’t pretend to be something else, because he knows what you are doing and DON’T take lifes complications out on him. You can’t see the big picture like he can, and you don’t know what kind of precious wonders he is holding just around the corner for you. Trust in God, and have a little faith. He will surprise you every time J

Roll with the punches...

So not in the mood to blog today. And, everyone in this town is going crazy for St. Pattys, which currently is annoying the crap out of me. . . You know how sometimes it feels like life just keeps punching and punching and you can’t do anything but roll with them?

That’s how I feel this week.

It’s never ending.

I also feel like God puts things in our lives at just the right time… I read a book this week (while feeling like life was giving me a severe beating, review on the book coming soon!) and it was as if God placed it in my hands to help me cope with what was coming...

I walked away from this book with the thought that as often as we think God is punishing us, or throwing us punches, or somehoooow we think he is messing up….

We really don’t know what the heck is going on behind the scenes.

So often when life gets crazy we wonder why God is doing this to us, why he is holding us down, and we blame him for lifes crap.

We forget GOD IS LOVE!

He only loves us. He does not know how to hurt, or hate, or “throw you punches”.

There is a plan, people.

Im just trying to get to the good part J

Going Bovine

Going Bovine – Libba Bray

This story follows Cameron, a twin who’s got a sarcastic and hilarious view on life. Sort of an outcast in high school, it is discovered he is sick and there is no cure. With the help from a few random “friends” and a punk rock angel, he embarks on a mission to find the cure to his illness and save the world. . . typical, right? Lol.

Not so much.

This was probably the most random, off the wall book I have read to date.

It was very funny and had me LOL’ing in too many places to count! There is a dark humor that hovers with Cameron I thoroughly enjoyed. I could never guess what was coming next, which kept me yearning for each page turn.

Somewhere in the middle of this book, I didn’t know what was real, a dream, a hallucination or the afterlife. The author did a beautiful job of keeping the reader guessing.

I would definitely suggest this book to a friend.

Funny, Mysterious, Intriguing.

FAKE

This is a topic I actually think about often. Every time I meet someone new, or someone who my personality doesn’t “gel” with, or even people like the big wigs at work.

You guessed it, Faking it.

Why do we do this? And I know some people don’t. I have met people who are the exact same around their bosses as they are to the homeless guy on the street.

Sometimes I envy people who are so comfortable with themselves.

 I can speak for myself when I say sometimes my personality completely changes depending on who I am talking to. You know those times… when you meet someone, or are trying to “impress” someone (ex. Someone’s parents, employers, etc.) and you put on that cheese eatin’ grin and fake it like you care HARDCORE with your best lines. . .

Do we do this because of nervousness? Or is it the fear of being judged for who we really are?

Don’t you think if we were trying to impress someone,… we should be ourselves?

It’s funny too because at some point, everyone fakes it.

For example….

·         No, that outfit doesn’t make you look fat.

·         Oooh what a cute baby!

·         I had such a good time!

Yeah, you know you’ve done it.

So, why can’t we just say what the hell we are really thinking or feeling?

What is it with not being able to speak our mind? We have no problem bitching about the service at a resturaunt, but we can’t tell a friend her outfit looks like shit.

Weird, right?

Maybe we really did learn something from Disney movies

 “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” J

But if you ask me, I still think it’s better to be honest and speak your mind than protect someone from getting their feelings hurt.

Sometimes the truth hurts, and that’s the truth.

Spirithoods

So, by now you get the idea I am an avid internet window shopper :) I came across this site today... and, well..... Just add it to my list.

I want one.

BUT, as most things I want....

Just toooooooooooo expensive.

Spirithoods

They are priced from $69 (the shorter "half" versions) to $199.

Most average $129 to $139.

Spirithoods

Vampire Kisses

Vampire Kisses 

by Ellen Schreiber

When I first started reading this book I thought

 “Talk about lame. Totally a vampire book for actual teenagers”. 

The first half of the first book was odd. I wasn’t really into it; I was just reading it because well… that’s what I do J

However, once I got into it and the plot thickened I found myself flying through the books awaiting the next. Personally, I think the books assume a strong kinship with the characters before it is actually there but it doesn’t affect the storyline. I wish she would have spent more time on the relationship to make it more believable, to allow us to feel the bond and the tie that binds BUT . . . what you get is what you get and like I mentioned, even that, I still enjoyed the books and wanted more.

Raven is a complete Goth, one of the kids you look at and “freak” automatically comes to mind. Edgy. Well, this is told through her eyes. She has always wanted to be a vampire, and on her 16^th birthday . . . a rumor starts that vampires moved in to the Mansion on the hill. The creepy mansion she once snuck into when she was 11. Raven is a daredevil, who doesn’t care what people think and who speaks her mind. She is quite witty, and I really enjoyed that about her. Alexander is the Goth boy she meets who moved into the mansion and he may…or may not be a vampire.

You will have to read the books to find out J

Anyways, the series takes Raven and the love of her life Alexander on many ups and downs, ins and outs, scary adventures and romantic dates that seem like too much for one high school Goth to handle. Between the boring town she lives in, to the uber hip town she visits her aunt in and everywhere in between, each book and each chapter has something going on!

Here are the books in order:

1. Vampire Kisses
2. Kissing Coffins
3. Vampireville
4. Dance With a Vampire
5. The Coffin Club
6. Royal Blood
7. Love Bites
8. Cryptic Cravings (May 2011)

Guardian Angel Bag

So, I'm a little late on this considering Rihanna was seen with it in Aug of 10' but I don't care.

This bag is so sweet.

If only I had $350 to drop on a purse. lol.

Can't I win the lottery? Oh yeah, I don't play the lottery.
Maybe randomly one day a celebrity will contact me and be like " hey, you seem cool... wanna be friends and help me spend my money?" pshhh....

A girl can dream can't she?

Anyways, here's the pic of the bag I will never own.

Here is the link to the website too. They do have cheaper bags.... their clutches run around $192 ~ LOL

Vlieger & Vandam

I could post all the other ridiculously expensive things I want... but I will save that for another day :)

Todays and Tomorrows

My Futile Fears

·    Death – I think it scares everyone. If you let it get to you though, it can start running your life, and affecting the way you live.

·   Getting Old

o    What I will look like

o    How will my body hold up (health wise, skin, hair, eyesight)

o    Handling all of life’s complications

§  Life’s un-expectancies (is that a word?)
                     examples: Totaled car, medical expenses, . . . etc.

§  Taxes

§  Mortgages

§  Retirement plans

§  Stocks

§  I understand none of the above J

·    Getting rear ended – Have you ever been rear ended? I mean HARD. Yeah, it sucks.

·    Being alone – For the rest of my life. What if I never find that “one”? What if I am 80 years old, in a home, with no kids, and no family? Yes. Scary.

·    Future – Where will I be? Will I be here? How will I turn out? What If I don’t get a good job and wind up broke with nothing but stress? This one is a biggie.

·    Getting jumped, robbed – I walk to work. I work and live downtown. Yes, I think about it. It could happen, and I would be freaking traumatized.

·    Losing my parents, family, and friends – You never really know how much the people in your life mean to you until
                       1. You lose someone very close to you or
                       2. They are gone and its too late
      I always knew I would be a hot mess when my parents pass away, but this fear really reared its ugly head when my sister passed away. You learn to appreciate the ones you love in a whole new light.

·    Being broke – Student loans – ‘nuff said.

·    Getting a disease. – Every time I feel a pain in my hips, I think it could be lupus. I know this is ridiculous because my sisters hips went bad AFTER she was diagnosed with lupus, but I swear it’s always in the back of my brain. This could also go under the old age category. Thankfully, thus far I have always been healthy.

In the end they are all pointless concerns, because either it is bound to happen, like death and old age, or I won’t know until I get there anyways.

 I guess for the fears of tomorrow, I leave it in God’s hands so they don’t affect my actions for today.

FAIL

What is it with being afraid to fail?

Afraid to try out in case you aren’t good enough.

 Afraid to try a new haircut in case it looks bad.

Afraid to ask someone out because of rejection.

Afraid of stepping over the edge in case we may fall….

My undiscovered talents blog got my gears a workin and thinking about failing. Why is it we are so afraid of failing?

Is it something that is engrained into our brains during childhood?

Is it the result of past failures that scar us forever?

My thoughts on failure (and I am no saint, I am definitely guilty of being held back by this fear), is that we have to live through some bad to know what the good is. To know how to separate them. Isn’t that how we grow and learn? By failing and succeeding?

For example, if you never scrape your knee, or get brain freeze from a slushee then how would you learn? And on the other hand, some failures can really be considered successes. . . depending on your outlook.

I used to be much more confident in high school. I think my age has gotten to me.

I remember one day I wore this strapless one piece leopard print (yes full leaopard print from top to bottom) jumpsuit. I thought it was sexy. And it was. Other people may have thought I had officially fallen off my rocker but I didn’t care. I loved that damn jumpsuit and I was going to wear it. When I think back. . .1. I really surprise myself that I had the courage to not care at such a young age and 2. I wish I still had that damn jumper J

On the other hand, I have never had to ask someone out on a “date”. I have always been the “askee” not the “asker” and honestly – I don’t think I would have the courage to.

My point here people, is that we are all afraid of failing at something, if not many things. How do we fix it? Do we jump all in, to conquer our fears? Or take small steps to move forward?

Babbling Blog

Update. Update. Update.

Tomorrow is my last day as an intern at the Library. I can definitely say I will miss it. I will also miss the perk of not having any late fees. Time to begin being more diligent about due dates, I suppose.

I am excited because for a few weeks I will have a little less stress on my shoulders and I will hopefully be able to get a few things done I have been putting off (*closet* *coughs*), and start some projects… although I have a feeling it won’t last long because my hours are just going to get bumped up at my other job.

I will appreciate the time while I can though.

So, yesterday I found this sweet website.

Alex Awards Website

The Alex awards are awarded to 10 books a year. They are books that are written for adults, but young adults would like too.

Okay, I am not a young adult… but I like vampire books, and  WAIT.... yes, I am a young adult. LOL (my birthday is next week and by golly I am staying a young adult for as long as I can) ... anyways, while browsing the site I had read a bunch of the books mentioned so I figured it would be a great place to start getting referrals!

Needless to say, I put like… 20 books on hold at the library. LOL

I figured it would take a few days to get them pulled, and I assumed a handful would already be checked out. Basically I thought I would get a few at a time and it would be perfect timing for me to go on a reading frenzy and fly through some literature.

I walk in to work today and –NO JOKE- there was en ENTIRE SHELF, of books all for ME!

I couldn’t even check them all out today because I couldn’t carry them. Lol. Sad but true.

I couldn’t believe it. I felt kind of bad actually. Plus, tomorrow is my last day so I really need to get reading.

I did however; receive the last book out in the vampire kisses series. Review coming soon! (Leave me alone. It’s a short book).

So yeah, check out the website. I favorited it already J

random picture of da geeko man looking handsome :)