Temptation.

It writes me love letters

and hangs heavy

like the air on a muggy afternoon in the heart of summer.

It's thickness makes it hard to breathe.

The sky briefly clouds reality from my devoted eyes.

It makes my skin feel sparse

I begin to sweat out the things I cannot say...

you are still beautiful

you still haunt my hours

you dilute my interpretation of happiness

It scares me

Hot flashes now.

.lips.

.fingers.

.skin.

I fade in and out of a vintage dream.

The memoir I wrote

digs itself out of the grave I so carefully buried it in.

I allow myself to dream nostalgia

I smile a fleeting, self-indulgent smile

and scream

"I PROMISE TO LOVE YOU FOREVER"

before I plunge into the sacred pool of clarity