peaces of me: May 2012

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

ocean avenue

I love the carnival on a warm summer night.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

memorial day weekend move

My weekend was fabulous.

I blew off work and had a 4 day weekend.

First time with a U*haul lol

After scowering all the options...

♥ It is perfect ♥

I love it.

♥ Now comes the fun part! ♥

As always,... more details and pictures to come! Be patient!

I take a slow, deep drag from my cigarette. As I exhale, the smoke is thick and restlessly flees its captivity. I watch it's graceful nature, and glimpse back down to the single sheet barely draped over my leg. The sun is peeking through the curtains now, and warms my exposed skin.

My body continues to rest, while my mind prepares.

I close my eyes, in an attempt to burn this moment into my memory.

Quickly, and silently, I pay tribute to all of the experiences that have led me here. I send up a silent prayer....

I crush the end of my Marlboro out in the clean, unused ashtray.

It looks gross.

I smell of smoke.
I nuzzle back down, but my eyes are open now.

I don't want to miss a thing.

Monday, May 28, 2012

snow white

HELL YES.

I can't wait to see this!

I hope it's as good as the trailer suggests!!!

♥

GLITTER

I generally stay away from glitter, especially glitter nail polishes... they always seem to be so hard to remove - and because I change my nail polish often - I hate that.

Randomly, I was in the mood.

I decided to make my own.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

stand tall

Here I am

and I stand

so tall.

just the way I'm supposed to be.

"Sara Bareilles - Gravity"

Saturday, May 26, 2012

cheers

A few times a week I try to take

a shot of wheat grass

It smells exactly like fresh cut grass, and tastes sweet.

Oddly, it reminds me of summer.

Kind of weird, yes.

But sooo good for you.

california soul

♥ Endless summer ♥

Friday, May 25, 2012

She is Love

It never ceases to amaze me the overwhelming amount of support and generosity we receive for the Annual Lupus walk in Memorial of my Sister.

Huge thank you's go out to all who helped, participated, donated, and shared this beautiful day with us!

♥

craft junkie

I CAN'T WAIT TO GET STARTED

As soon as I move/get settled, that is!!

(Literally everything I own is packed up right now)

It's been hard to do anything because of the move and planning... but be warned:

My ideas will come to life!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

exorcism

Hampton Williams

- reppin' TX -

Don't know how long he will last... but this was a pleasant surprise!

I am so excited for this season!!!

METAL CHICK

I listen to so much music.

I know people say that, but I mean it. I'm absolutely not one of those people who only listens to "one genre" of music.

I listen to everything from acoustic/indie music, dubstep, reggae, hiphop/R&B, to deathmetal/core and pretty much everything in between

Anyways... I love it when bands cover hip hop songs.

(I love this band)

There's just something about a good metal band....

♥

♥ PANTERA ♥

shake your kitty

By now you know I love my local health food store, it's huge and has everything.

aaaaand they have the best shakes!

I adore that you can add "lifts"
protein
immune builder
multivitamin
emergen-c
chai seed
flax fiber
... the list goes on&on!!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

EPIC MEAL TIME

Haha.

These dudes are crazy.

WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/EPICMEALTIME

industry source

Wholesale.

For licensed professionals only.

unattainable

So jealous.

Go ahead babydoll, eat your ♥ out

xoxo

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

hard in da paint

we in dat 2 seat #lambo.....

McLaren

HYFR

BAWSY BABY!

Monday, May 21, 2012

faded

Some love it.

Some hate it.

Personally, I dig it

I decided to share this super easy, quick DIY

I cut mine capri length

First -- I used a simple tye dye method - band and bleach!

Bleach (I got this specific bottle at Target)

**Note**
After I bleached the large sections to get the overall look I wanted - I used other tools and methods...
Don't be afraid to get creative, spray bottle, splatter, use a sponge, or even stencil on creative designs! (stenciled bleached designs look fab!)

I wanted to keep them simple, since it's such a bold look...
so I didn't do anything else but play with the bleach.
I love the way these turned out!
They will be perfect for summer!

"Faded like skinnys
Young Money we winning"

Faded - Tyga ft Lil Wayne

shut it down

"These girls ain’t got nothing on you
uhh, say baby I had to mention
that if you were a star you’d be the one I’m searching for
all the girls they got attention
but I just always feel like they're in need of something you got
its obvious you’re pretty
heard that you're a student working weekends in the city
trying to take you out girl, hope you're not too busy
and if there’s nothing wrong, got this little song
for you to get ready to
put those fucking heels on and work it girl
let that mirror show you what you're doing
put that fucking dress on and work it kind of vicious
like somebody’s taking pictures

Shut it down, down, down
you would shut it down down down
you be the baddest girl around, round, round
and they notice, they notice..."

Drake ft. The Dream - Shut it Down

Sunday, May 20, 2012

No woman, No cry

The day that changed my life forever.

On this day, three years ago...

I remember B waking me up… something was wrong, but instinct told me to thrust any hideous, sickening thoughts to the depths of my soul and disregard. I kept telling myself that my baby sister and best friend had been re-hospitalized. Yup, that was it. I told myself she must be getting worse, and that was the reason I was sitting on the edge of my bed – watching my significant other hurriedly pack me a bag so we could get on the road.

You see, I had slept in that morning… and my phone was off. B left work to come home and wake me. When I came to, I immediately turned my phone on. A few voicemails (which I did not listen to) and an odd text message from a good friend that read “Taylor, I’m so sorry” (or something to that extent, I can’t remember verbatim)

I felt sick to my stomach – I thought maybe that text message was just an act of kindness from our friend knowing that, for a long time, my family and I had been on a rollercoaster ride that was my sisters health; knowing the course of the month had been a true test of strength for all of us.

“What is going on?” I remember asking B a few times... with no response.

“Just get ready, I’ll drive…. It’s going to be ok” she finally assured me.

I knew that she knew what was really going on and that she was protecting me from something. I knew that she had spoken to my mother, and I knew that she was not telling me for a reason. I also knew had a two hour car ride during which I was not going to get any answers. Honestly, I didn’t want any – I didn’t press the issue. I was not looking forward to hearing about whatever was going on. So again, for self preservation - I chose to ignore the worst case scenario that my mind had on replay and hope for the best.

Plus, my sister couldn’t die. That only happened to other people. Not me. Definitely not me.

In all honesty, I cannot remember the ride home. I think I was attempting to prepare myself for something no one can ever be prepared for. I was hopeful and scared, nervous, anxious,... quite frankly... my brain was on overload and my skin was crawling. Thoughts that raced quietly were torn between “worse and worst”. I knew it wasn’t good, but I was praying that I would witness a faint relief when I walked through the door and heard that reality was not “the worst”.

As I walked to the door, I had my purse and a slouchy duffle slung over my shoulder and forearm. I remember walking in; casual… as if I could create any truth my heart desired by acting like everything was normal.

My parents stood ahead of me. I looked at them inquisitively and my father bravely sputtered:

“Timberly…. passed away last night”

For a millisecond I thought he was kidding.

But then, my dad started to cry.

For most of you, you won’t grasp that concept.

My Dad… started crying.

The type of cry that I have only witnessed from him one other time in my life.

And just like that, I knew it was real.

I will never forget that MOMENT. I will never forget what it felt like or how it changed my life.

That instant is one I carry with me every day of my reality. She is gone. I wouldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe it. I would never get to say good bye, or tell her I was sorry for anything and everything I did or didn’t do, I wouldn’t be able to kiss her and hug her as tight as my arms would allow – I wouldn’t be able to tell her how much I love her and how much she means to me. I would never be able to express that even though she was my little sister, I look up to her in so many ways.

When you lose someone– you realize there’s so much you never said. You realize that life is precious and life is short – to tell people you love them, to be kind and love with your whole heart. It changes your life. It is remarkable … the priceless lessons you learn, that ironically come with such a hefty price tag.

The same second I realized the truth… that this was the next chapter of our story – my knees buckled, and I was on the floor. I remember repeating “no… no. no. no.” softly, through wet tears that seemed to melt my face. I remember gravity hit me quickly, my legs refused to support this newfound weight.

Everything else is a blur. I remember my mom being there. Hugging us and whispering loving, encouraging words full of hope – even through her endless heartache. It’s funny as I look back, that I mostly remember my father. Maybe it’s because I had never seen him as vulnerable as he was then. My mom has always been a very loving, sensitive person while my dad has been the rock. Maybe I remember because the severity of our situation shown bright through him… our rock, now so crushed and so broken.

After that I slept.
I blacked out. While my parents built themselves back up, into the brick walls that they had to be for the next few days – I selfishly clung to my broken heart, body, and soul.

The funeral and the aftermath are better saved for another story.

No one can understand what losing her has done. If you have never lost someone you truly love, with every ounce of your being… you simply cannot begin to comprehend. If you have, then you will understand that every loss in unique. The pain that my parents feel is worlds different than the pain and loss that I suffer from. My pain that comes from losing her is unique, unique to our bond, our relationship, our memories, our inside jokes and stories, our childhood together….

Timz,

I miss you in amounts more than words will ever have the capability to express.
I love you with my whole heart.
Continue to keep me strong
&

Stay with me.

With everything I am,

I love you and miss you.

Your big sis,
Tay

Saturday, May 19, 2012

turn your lights down low

"Turn your lights down low

And pull your window curtain
Oh let Jah moon come shining in..."

"Turn your lights down low - Bob Marley/Lauryn Hill"

skinny girl

Haha

Bei Mejor - Fitness

gratitude

"Thankful for relaxation, complication, hibernation and irrational
Seclusion, confusion, all of my impurity and insecurity
Cause I know it`s God just perfecting me
That`s why
Today I take life as it comes"

India Arie