Thursday, May 30, 2013
waiting to exhale
No words come.
I sit with a blank canvas, a hundred million thoughts and ideas of one liners I dream to spit at you...
Yet I cannot bring my lips to exhale.
My fingertips won't help my mind dispense these chaotic and mixed emotions that linger so effortlessly within my heart. My brain sits heavy on my neck, like it carries the weight of seven thousand worlds of love and loss and happiness and pain and misery upon it.
It looks to this empty canvas for solace in the midst of the storm. It begs the skies that rain down with bottled fury to wash away everything in it's threshold and become it's sanctuary.
I beg the storm to wash away everything I remember, and everything I don't.
But all I can do is sit,
with a blank canvas at my fingertips...
and a head that is so full, it is overgrown with thoughts and ideas and feelings and emotion.
I'm still searching for my elusive release...
and waiting to exhale.
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1 comment:
I sit and think of the pain I have put you through... I'm so ashamed.. And I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I can't find words to say so in my own effort to save myself from embarassment... I don't say a thing at all. I'm selfish. I always have been. And I'm sorry for taking advantage of the fact I thought you would always be around. For taking you for granted. You are something so special and I was a fool to ever let you go. I miss you. I hope you are okay, doing well and most of all happy. I know I don't deserve to know.. but I thought I would let you know...
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